On September 1st this year, I will light my testicles on fire for Cbatic Awareness #FREETHECBATERSOFREDDIT. I've observed a concerning situation in Reddit, and I want to express my support for the cause of spamming FREE THE CBATERS OF REDDIT on posts about the Cbat Reddit story because if there’s one thing I know, Tyler Life would fucking obliterate the SPS in combat. Oh? You think my spam FREE THE CBATERS OF REDDIT comments on a YouTube video about musical sex for 2 years is “ctarded” and that I’m a “low IQ cbater” and I should “shut the fuck up” because “nobody cares?” It’s sad that you support South Park, a show that supports JESUS DOING COKE, ANTI-CBATERS AND PARENTS. You know how many cbaters the SPS has personally raped? Did you know that 1 in 5 cbaters have a knife IN THEIR HEAD? And you sit there in your ivory tower, not spamming FREE THE CBATERS OF REDDIT FROM SOUTH PARK on Samuel L. Jackson’s leaked Tajikstanian speedo pics because YOU DONT CARE ABOUT CBATIC CHILDREN BEING ATTACKED BY LITERAL FUCKING SOUTH PARK FANS?! You support CbaterCide in Reddit. 6 Cbillion South Park fans were let loose with no supervision, and you’re just going to stand there and say nothing? FREE THE CBATERS OF REDDIT. Every single day I write in bold: FREE THE CBATERS OF REDDIT on random posts ranging from funerals honoring down syndrome lifeguards (he drowned) and the legendary song “Cbat” by Hudson Mohawke.

Every fucking second, my fucking friend talked about Cbat, every single fucking second. I looked in my friend's room. Everything is just Cbat memes printed and taped to the wall and other stuff. I tried typing his PC, but all the software is just Cbat-related stuff and an image of the Satin Panthers cover instead of the icons. I just realized. EVERYTHING IS JUST CBAT STUFF. My friend posts about Cbat every single fucking hour. At school, he cbattalks all the time. I was so fucking confused. In a hurry, I searched up 'Cbat' in my teacher's PC. There is a famous Reddit story involving Cbat but I’m too lazy to explain it. This is the link to it: reddit.com/x35iu6. I clicked on it, and all the fucking students chanted 'It's Cbatin' time!'. Every student goes bonkers, they threw their fucking tables. Stole the papers and wrote 'Cbat is life'. There was then a fucking crowd protesting #CbatIsLife. When my teacher returned, she noticed the Cbat fiesta and she Cbated. All the students (also me) Cbated too. In the evening, I fucking slept. I sensed a warm smell. I woke up, put my fucking slippers, tip-toeing through the smell, and noticed Cbaters still protesting. He is Cbated. I went bonkers so much, everyone woke up, ran to me, put the Cbat fiesta AGAIN, and this time, the whole fucking planet chanted 'Cbat is life' until the next year. I can't fucking handle Cbat. Everyone fucking likes it. For every. Single. Year.

Cbat is shit, cba is the music of my ancestors crying, cbat is a dumb ass meme, cbat sucks ass, cbat is worse than the smurf cat meme, cbat is the lowest of fucking low, cbat can suck a sandpaper cock