“Stop it, you are hurting its feelings you stupid baka” Said TylerLife defending his favorite sex song for the 15th time today. He quickly looked at his sex playlist. How could people hate it, how could people hurt its feelings; he thought to himself. He once again went to a shitpost sub and spent 5 hours trying to find all of those bakas that were saying shit about his favorite sex song. He wrote a 50k word essay about it and why it is objectively the best song in existence. He didn’t forget to include atleast 5 uses of the words “a turn on” to back up his claims. Just like his other essays, his comments were spammed with “give us a TIFUpdate” and racial slurs that were written by total hypocrites. How could everyone be wrong, he thought. How was he and his cult the only sane people in this lonely and dark world? His energy had gone down so he went to r/TIFU and explained what happened that day. Then he went to his other room that was also located in his family’s basement. He licked the dry cum on his sex bed he uses to fuck his girlfriend to Cbat and started making plans about killing his stupid parents for creating him without his consent. He opened Discord and laughed at how many “bakas” were banned from his utopia. He couldn’t understand why they were named “Tyler Life Speedrun World Record” or “Banned in 0 seconds” but the fact that those dirty individuals were banned made him happy. He spent the next 3 hours completely bullying anti-cbaters. This was a successful day for him. He went to bed and just as he was about to sleep he remembered: Oh fuck I forgot to post a TIFUpdate. His thoughts disappeared as his consciousness started to fade.

2024-04-26 05:45:19 UTC